I’ve always felt somewhat removed from the Anora/Aemon debate, in no small part because I feel like I had a different initial experience of the first game than many players. Since I was deep into ME at the time, my first DA:O playthrough was one made largely in ignorance, with only a passing connection to the wider DA fandom.
I think I had a pretty similar experience as you. I ran a city elf warden as my first and currently only playthrough, also still more a Mass Effect fan than anything. I don’t think I really got sucked into DA:O the way that I got sucked into Mass Effect. I still don’t know why because it’s also the sort of game that theoretically I should really really like. Maybe I have to give myself some distance, and try not to compare it to ME too much.
Anyways, as a city elf, my warden is technically from Ferelden, but that country’s really done nothing for her, and she has personally awful experience with the ruling elite. So when I accidentally started romancing Alistair, first I was kinda miffed, because I had heard that if he becomes king, he won’t be able to continue a relationship with a non noble. And I couldn’t dump him, that would be like kicking a puppy… So I went through the game, and then when I met Anora, I realized that I was being dumb. There was no reason why Alistair would be a better ruler than her, since she at least seems interested and is indeed a smart woman who knows how to play the political game. And why would my Warden want to give him up to put him in a place where he’d be miserable? I did kind of feel guilty about Eamon, because he was one of the first one of the noble class who didn’t treat her as a servant from the start, and it kind of felt like betrayal, not helping him with his goal. But, I couldn’t agree with his argument. Like you said, bloodline isn’t exactly a guarantee of a good king, and I can’t exactly see my elf thinking that it would be.